rebeccalynne v. SHATTERED

edit. or +mem. security: public	sep 16th, 05 12:03 pm
stalkernobaka, You didn't do anything wrong. I still care, but .. I'm a different person now. I can't explain myself, but... I've changed a lot. I bet you have too, really.. But don't feel like you did anything. You didn't. In good time... I think I'll talk to you again, but... I'm going through a lot at the moment. It's good to know that you seem to be okay, though. I'm really sorry. Someone make sure she gets this.

_ 1 _ year _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

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may 2nd, 05
7:55 am

a short update on myself not that anybody cares:

going through mental trauma.
probably won't be back for awhile.
i have a therapist now, woo.
next to my brother i feel like a puddle.
i'm pretty useless.
mom isn't happy with me.
neither is dad.
or me.

i don't know, i'm pretty depressing to be around now.
but i am still alive.

just in case you wondered, or something.
i'm out.

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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apr 21st, 05
6:48 pm

No Internet for awhile for me.

Sorry.

_ 1 _ year _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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apr 17th, 05
4:10 pm

I can't put up with this right now.

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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mar 30th, 05
6:49 am

Then I fall asleep with MSN on and no away sign.

Wooooah, there.

...I have the Hamtaro song stuck in my head. Eeewww.

Zersnoo, Pepenelo, Sobs, Dapan, Nyhow! Nardox, Jyoubi and Ham-Ta-Ro!
*bashes head against desk*

_ broken _ glass _

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mar 29th, 05
7:31 am

I should like, just stop going on messengers or something o_O; They always crash. Every time.

Spring break was awful, we went up to the beach house with ben and rachel and our family, and ben and rachel were really bitchy to me the whole time. They kept telling me how much of a jerk I was being to mom (i had been once, but i apologized and they KNEW it), how lazy i was for not doing the dishes (i didn't know they needed to be done, i went in to see and they already had been), and just generally ragging on me for everything. And they still do, even now. They wonder why I didn't enjoy my time up there? Ugh. They said they'd stop, but then at the restaruant... Mom and Dad went to the bathroom and mom's water got spilled (by random chance), and I was about to help pick up the ice but rachel comes over and takes the only area there's room for me. Then they have the audacity to accuse me of being lazy for not helping when there's no space to! Agh, wtf... I swear, if they don't stop soon I'm going to just... explode or something. Damn.

School still blows hardcore, of course. I think I'll go to an alternative school next year, because this ain't cutting it.

Nothing to look forward to for now. Give me something to, I'll embrace it...

_ 1 _ year _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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mar 11th, 05
6:57 am

Hmm.

Yes, I do watch The OC. So afterwards, I did catch the premiere of the Star Wars Episode III trailer... you know, in my opinion, it's probably the only one worth watching, since it's the one that shows what causes the others to happen. Anyway, it actually looked really good. As in, really. As in, I'd actually watch it and I don't like Star Wars all that much and think it's overrated. But it's got some potential, and I'm sure I'll convince someone to go see it with me in theaters.

List of movies to see:

Star Wars III
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Sin City

Also, I hate this weather. I live in PORTLAND, for chrissake. It's MARCH. It SHOULD NOT be 72 degrees outside. No. No no NO no no. For the love of God and all that is holy, NO.

Eeurgh... I hate summer enough as is, why must it last longer now?!

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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mar 10th, 05
10:54 pm

This game is fun. I pwn at it, too. My record is 8159.67. *sparkle*

I hate my Biology teacher. I swear he's bipolar or something, but whatever he has, he is screwed up in the head. He was mad at all the other students and kept taking his anger out on me, one of the few who actually pays attention in his class. I got to go sit in the principal's office for 7th period (not as bad as it sounds -- it got me away from HIM) last class because I laughed, QUIETLY, at something the kid across from me wrote on a piece of paper and my Biology teacher exploded about it.

I've given up on school as a whole though, so it's not like it's worth talking to anyone or trying to fix it.

_ broken _ glass _

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mar 8th, 05
9:23 am

Got sick again, took yesterday/today off. If I were working a real job I would so be fired. Of course, I'd also have motivation (mmm, money), but that's aside the point.

My power supply died in my computer so I now have one of Ben's computers'. Random.

HP's server is so slow, downloading my drivers is taking freaking forever. But at least my scanner will work again... and now I tried to open the start menu and Windows lags like hell. Woo.

Stupid random computer errors. Making me mad.

UNGHITY.

Smurfarna music makes me sad.
*rants at miss_ricadonna about it*

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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mar 3rd, 05
11:39 pm

Mom wants me to join this writing contest, sponsored by Borders books. The criteria is pretty easy: It must be 500 words or under, must be typed and double-spaced, must contain one of three phrases: "I lied.", "She (or he) gave me that look.", or "Our family is different."

There are three categories: Fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, and there's a section for highschool students. Prize is $100 and a $50 Borders gift card, and I'd get to read it at the Wordstock Book Fair at the Convention center.

Argh, Mom really, really, REALLY wants me to enter. I don't know how good I would do at it, to be honest... but I can try. I do know I'm a good writer, when my English teacher gives me mostly sixes on my CIM paper it is generally a good sign. But .. but...

Ack.

_ 8 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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mar 2nd, 05
11:14 pm

http://www.random-art.org/

This place is hot.
You go to "visitor pictures", and click "suggest a name". Type in some keywords you want and in 10 minutes or so (depending on the queue), poof! you get an abstract picture. Now that's a nice work of coding.

I've been screwing around on it all day. My favorites I've done are "frederick the potato-man", "billy bitchcakes", and "becca x static OTP". For some reason, my "ghey bishiez" is popular, but I have no idea why.

I've been amused by it, anyway.

No paid time anymore! Oh, fishsticks.

_ broken _ glass _

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feb 17th, 05
1:22 am

I've been attacked by a "Flash Cold".

I was fine all day, but like, two hours ago, it was all like "OH GOD I'M SO SICK NOW".
Nose is nasty, head's all plugged-up-like.

Why do these things happen THE DAY BEFORE PE?!?!

_ broken _ glass _

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feb 11th, 05
11:38 pm

A reminder to myself:

When on ROM-downloading sprees, never, never, NEVER download catchy-looking Japanese games. They may lead to you desiring the anime upon which they are based.

This has just happened with a game I downloaded called "Mermaid Melody: Pichi Pichi Pitch", which looked interesting. The concept is great, in my opinion. It's a Game Boy Advance game that makes one think of DDR with the gameplay -- four arrows and the LR buttons, and a dancing avatar in the center. But it's so fun... Basically, you press the buttons when the arrows pass. How good you do determines how well the girl sings, and if she sings the words on-beat. If you do badly, she gets off-key, and it sounds horrible. But if you do well, it sounds great! The songs are all catchy, sugary J-pop faire, of course, but I like that kind of crap so it was all good.

So I Googled "Mermaid Melody" to see what the hell it was, and apparently it's (oh god) a Mahou Shoujo anime about a Mermaid princess, Luchia, who needs to get the Pearl Tear to succeed the throne. She also wants to find this boy, Kaito-kun, who she saved from a shipwreck. She finds him, and he has the Pearl Tear, which turns her into a -- get this -- Singing Magical Girl. And she has two friends. And they sing to defeat villans.

It sounds so incredibly horrible and cute and awful!

I MUST WATCH.

ps. Also, must see Prince of Tennis.

_ 4 _ years _ bad _ luck _
_ broken _ glass _

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feb 9th, 05
4:08 pm

Yes, dear friends, once again I have become plagued, haunted, and otherwise disrupted by the dreaded

SOCIAL ANXIETY.

I feel like such a dork, since I've never really suffered from it to such an extreme point as I have been lately. Under most circumstances I'm above these things, but maybe it's because I'm actually getting friends and whatnot, and am starting to actually get a place in the "social ladder", as it were. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Or it could be just a teenage thing.

In any case, I have it.

Two days ago, I accidentally stabbed myself in the wrist with a pencil. Went in pretty deep, but missed the arteries, etc. Still, freaked the crap out of me. Now I think Dad thinks I'm suicidal or something o_O;;;... he asked me if I did it on purpose, and I'm like, "Dad, I may be depressed, but I'm not stupid, okay?" Ugh, honestly. It kind of hurts to be accused of something like that. Suicide is so low.

Oh well, anyway.

I was gonna angst about my social problems, but you know? I think I'll get over them eventually. Things like this, you usually just move on with.

I'm worried about David. Hope he's okay.

_ broken _ glass _

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jan 31st, 05
12:47 pm

I found two of my old peoplewhoIneeded to find - namely, nitromv and isolatedrain. So yesterday was a good day.

Also, I'm getting back into WWE thanks to my idiot brother who talked us into ordering the Royal Rumble. No, I don't understand why either, but it didn't totally suck and gave me something to laugh about/not be bored by while my friends went to sleep for school today.

Speaking of which, I don't have any today, obviously enough. Tomorrow I get to find the results of my finals and ... ack, worryfretnervous. But enough of that.

I need to find Ryoken now. Where'd he go?

_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	may 2nd, 05 7:55 am
a short update on myself not that anybody cares: going through mental trauma. probably won't be back for awhile. i have a therapist now, woo. next to my brother i feel like a puddle. i'm pretty useless. mom isn't happy with me. neither is dad. or me. i don't know, i'm pretty depressing to be around now. but i am still alive. just in case you wondered, or something. i'm out.

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	apr 21st, 05 6:48 pm
No Internet for awhile for me. Sorry.

_ 1 _ year _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	apr 17th, 05 4:10 pm
I can't put up with this right now.

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 30th, 05 6:49 am
Then I fall asleep with MSN on and no away sign. Wooooah, there. ...I have the Hamtaro song stuck in my head. Eeewww. Zersnoo, Pepenelo, Sobs, Dapan, Nyhow! Nardox, Jyoubi and Ham-Ta-Ro! bashes head against desk

	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 29th, 05 7:31 am
I should like, just stop going on messengers or something o_O; They always crash. Every time. Spring break was awful, we went up to the beach house with ben and rachel and our family, and ben and rachel were really bitchy to me the whole time. They kept telling me how much of a jerk I was being to mom (i had been once, but i apologized and they KNEW it), how lazy i was for not doing the dishes (i didn't know they needed to be done, i went in to see and they already had been), and just generally ragging on me for everything. And they still do, even now. They wonder why I didn't enjoy my time up there? Ugh. They said they'd stop, but then at the restaruant... Mom and Dad went to the bathroom and mom's water got spilled (by random chance), and I was about to help pick up the ice but rachel comes over and takes the only area there's room for me. Then they have the audacity to accuse me of being lazy for not helping when there's no space to! Agh, wtf... I swear, if they don't stop soon I'm going to just... explode or something. Damn. School still blows hardcore, of course. I think I'll go to an alternative school next year, because this ain't cutting it. Nothing to look forward to for now. Give me something to, I'll embrace it...

_ 1 _ year _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 11th, 05 6:57 am
Hmm. Yes, I do watch The OC. So afterwards, I did catch the premiere of the Star Wars Episode III trailer... you know, in my opinion, it's probably the only one worth watching, since it's the one that shows what causes the others to happen. Anyway, it actually looked really good. As in, really. As in, I'd actually watch it and I don't like Star Wars all that much and think it's overrated. But it's got some potential, and I'm sure I'll convince someone to go see it with me in theaters. List of movies to see: Star Wars III Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Sin City Also, I hate this weather. I live in PORTLAND, for chrissake. It's MARCH. It SHOULD NOT be 72 degrees outside. No. No no NO no no. For the love of God and all that is holy, NO. Eeurgh... I hate summer enough as is, why must it last longer now?!

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 10th, 05 10:54 pm
This game is fun. I pwn at it, too. My record is 8159.67. sparkle I hate my Biology teacher. I swear he's bipolar or something, but whatever he has, he is screwed up in the head. He was mad at all the other students and kept taking his anger out on me, one of the few who actually pays attention in his class. I got to go sit in the principal's office for 7th period (not as bad as it sounds -- it got me away from HIM) last class because I laughed, QUIETLY, at something the kid across from me wrote on a piece of paper and my Biology teacher exploded about it. I've given up on school as a whole though, so it's not like it's worth talking to anyone or trying to fix it.

	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 8th, 05 9:23 am
Got sick again, took yesterday/today off. If I were working a real job I would so be fired. Of course, I'd also have motivation (mmm, money), but that's aside the point. My power supply died in my computer so I now have one of Ben's computers'. Random. HP's server is so slow, downloading my drivers is taking freaking forever. But at least my scanner will work again... and now I tried to open the start menu and Windows lags like hell. Woo. Stupid random computer errors. Making me mad. UNGHITY. Smurfarna music makes me sad. rants at miss_ricadonna* about it*

_ 3 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 3rd, 05 11:39 pm
Mom wants me to join this writing contest, sponsored by Borders books. The criteria is pretty easy: It must be 500 words or under, must be typed and double-spaced, must contain one of three phrases: "I lied.", "She (or he) gave me that look.", or "Our family is different." There are three categories: Fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, and there's a section for highschool students. Prize is $100 and a $50 Borders gift card, and I'd get to read it at the Wordstock Book Fair at the Convention center. Argh, Mom really, really, REALLY wants me to enter. I don't know how good I would do at it, to be honest... but I can try. I do know I'm a good writer, when my English teacher gives me mostly sixes on my CIM paper it is generally a good sign. But .. but... Ack.

_ 8 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	mar 2nd, 05 11:14 pm
http://www.random-art.org/ This place is hot. You go to "visitor pictures", and click "suggest a name". Type in some keywords you want and in 10 minutes or so (depending on the queue), poof! you get an abstract picture. Now that's a nice work of coding. I've been screwing around on it all day. My favorites I've done are "frederick the potato-man", "billy bitchcakes", and "becca x static OTP". For some reason, my "ghey bishiez" is popular, but I have no idea why. I've been amused by it, anyway. No paid time anymore! Oh, fishsticks.

	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	feb 17th, 05 1:22 am
I've been attacked by a "Flash Cold". I was fine all day, but like, two hours ago, it was all like "OH GOD I'M SO SICK NOW". Nose is nasty, head's all plugged-up-like. Why do these things happen THE DAY BEFORE PE?!?!

	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	feb 11th, 05 11:38 pm
A reminder to myself: When on ROM-downloading sprees, never, never, NEVER download catchy-looking Japanese games. They may lead to you desiring the anime upon which they are based. This has just happened with a game I downloaded called "Mermaid Melody: Pichi Pichi Pitch", which looked interesting. The concept is great, in my opinion. It's a Game Boy Advance game that makes one think of DDR with the gameplay -- four arrows and the LR buttons, and a dancing avatar in the center. But it's so fun... Basically, you press the buttons when the arrows pass. How good you do determines how well the girl sings, and if she sings the words on-beat. If you do badly, she gets off-key, and it sounds horrible. But if you do well, it sounds great! The songs are all catchy, sugary J-pop faire, of course, but I like that kind of crap so it was all good. So I Googled "Mermaid Melody" to see what the hell it was, and apparently it's (oh god) a Mahou Shoujo anime about a Mermaid princess, Luchia, who needs to get the Pearl Tear to succeed the throne. She also wants to find this boy, Kaito-kun, who she saved from a shipwreck. She finds him, and he has the Pearl Tear, which turns her into a -- get this -- Singing Magical Girl. And she has two friends. And they sing to defeat villans. It sounds so incredibly horrible and cute and awful! I MUST WATCH. ps. Also, must see Prince of Tennis.

_ 4 _ years _ bad _ luck _	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	feb 9th, 05 4:08 pm
Yes, dear friends, once again I have become plagued, haunted, and otherwise disrupted by the dreaded SOCIAL ANXIETY. I feel like such a dork, since I've never really suffered from it to such an extreme point as I have been lately. Under most circumstances I'm above these things, but maybe it's because I'm actually getting friends and whatnot, and am starting to actually get a place in the "social ladder", as it were. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Or it could be just a teenage thing. In any case, I have it. Two days ago, I accidentally stabbed myself in the wrist with a pencil. Went in pretty deep, but missed the arteries, etc. Still, freaked the crap out of me. Now I think Dad thinks I'm suicidal or something o_O;;;... he asked me if I did it on purpose, and I'm like, "Dad, I may be depressed, but I'm not stupid, okay?" Ugh, honestly. It kind of hurts to be accused of something like that. Suicide is so low. Oh well, anyway. I was gonna angst about my social problems, but you know? I think I'll get over them eventually. Things like this, you usually just move on with. I'm worried about David. Hope he's okay.

	_ broken _ glass _

edit. or +mem. security: public	jan 31st, 05 12:47 pm
I found two of my old peoplewhoIneeded to find - namely, nitromv and isolatedrain. So yesterday was a good day. Also, I'm getting back into WWE thanks to my idiot brother who talked us into ordering the Royal Rumble. No, I don't understand why either, but it didn't totally suck and gave me something to laugh about/not be bored by while my friends went to sleep for school today. Speaking of which, I don't have any today, obviously enough. Tomorrow I get to find the results of my finals and ... ack, worryfretnervous. But enough of that. I need to find Ryoken now. Where'd he go?

	_ broken _ glass _